It was a winter afternoon in Delhi, the cold almost like Anamika's current state of mind. The fifth floor of the building where her lab was, anamika got a lovely view of the ring road, the bustling traffic, the main entrance to the hospital filled with patients and their entire familes waiting in patience for their long awaited appointments with mixed emotions. some were sad, some hopeful, some just content, some excited. In the background a bus screeched to halt, another car honked, a cycle trinked. Closer to her on the window sill , a couple of known pigeons notoriously littered and continued building their nests with a strange persistence fighting the cold winds. It was nearing lunch time and everyone around seemed to be suddenly too hungry to keep control. Her lab mates called out to each other asking to immediately open their lunch boxes. the centre table was being cleared for lunch. All work was asked to be stalled, jokes were being cracked in the background, sirish had once more annoyed someone with his double meaning banter, cracking everyone else with laughter. Pradeep sir, a senior scientist laughing took out his gloves, washed his hands and observing anamika standing quitely next to the window announced to her with an excitement of a man in love with food , "Anu! Lunch!, come fast." to which she replied with an asserting nod, she would be right there, just another moment.Anamika watched the regular scene in her life with an honest admiration trying to understand if what she was feeling within was really comparable to all of the activities happening around her. she was confused, upset, angry, sad, all in one and that too for no reason she could draw. "Maybe I'm only wasting my time over-thinking, this isn't the first time something like this has come up, probably he's not even thinking about me right now." she thought to herself with a tug at her heart saying otherwise. Once more checking her seemingly dead phone, seeing no missed calls, texts, whatsapp messages from Dev, she sighed and walked over to the centre table joining her labmates to eat her sorrow away. Maybe being with friends would help her get distracted from her strange thoughts. so she contributed to the lunch conversations with full spirit and happy pretence.
Dev, on the other side of the city was completely unaware of the rush of emotions he was causing Anamika. It was just another day for him, home, office, a set of meetings, a chore he had to finish for dad and then hopefully back home in time. Ofcourse, anamika was there, in his life, his mind, heart, in everything he did, a fact he didn't feel the need to express all the time anymore given all the years he has been with her. He really missed her today but he was just not able to gather time to contact her and that was definitely annoying him. "Oh! she'll understand" he hoped .
The day passed, dragged for anamika, flew for Dev and by the time it was evening he picked his phone and dialled her.
"anu!"
"yes"
"you wouldn't believe the day I've had"
"Oh! I would believe, had fun??"
"Fun?! , at office?, no it was hell of a day , with all the file work i had to clear and I still have a couple of calls to finish before heading home. I couldn't even find the time to reach you"
"right, that must have been it."
"what's wrong? are you upset?"
"nah! Its fine dev, leave it"
"this isn't the first day this has happened anu, you know that."
"and this won't be the last day either Dev, I know I'm not a part of your important schedule these days"
"You ain't a part of any schedule Anu, you're a part of my life and I don't need to keep appointments for you my love."
"you and your brilliant words." Anamika was feeling defeated, guilty, anger and confusion in the same second. It was not just about this particular day, it was about a series of weeks when he was just not paying her enough attention. the current gestures weren't enough for her it seemed, the romance, the excitement, she was longing for a passion they used to have in their initial year , which she knew was still there buried somewhere below the pile of time. there was something she deeply wanted from him. something was definitely amiss.Maybe she wanted him to surprise her. Maybe Anamika wanted Dev to romance her more, get her flowers, go out of his way to meet her, bunk his office, take her for a long drive, even though such gestures were not really important to her. Her core happiness lied in something unknown, she surely wanted something but wasn't able to figure exactly what. Unless she did, how could she ask for it from Dev. she wanted to cry in confusion and pour her heart out. she wanted to ask him why she was so upset. whether this was because their relationship was old now and he had started taking her for granted. she wanted to blame him, shout at him and just walk away, but she remained silent as she held the phone for a long pause.
Dev waited silently on the other side of the line, asking her after a while to speak further. he needed to know what was she upset about, he had been noticing a cold note in her words lately. where he was going wrong? had he not been attentive enough? had be hurt her in some way? if only she would tell him. he wanted to give her everything he possibly could. Just recently he had taken her out to a lovely eating joint and spent an amazing karaoke evening with her. he always managed to make her smil, then what could it possibly be. but Dev was a rational man and he balanced the irrational anu. he knew she was so much more mature than him in so many ways but sometimes she'd get so difficult and confusing. Both of them were deeply happy with each other and both knew this, yet the recent days had brought a slight strain between them without an apparent reason.
"I'd better keep the phone down, I can't figure what to say" finally responded anamika
"Sure Anu, call me when you're ready to talk"
Anamika being the more introspective one aggressively went through her thought catalogue. she sat that night for hours staring at her bedroom walls, eating dinner silently and drinking coffee. when she had had enough for the day, she decided to sleep on it. maybe this was just a phase, all couples go through it she consoled herself. Dev had not disturbed her with any texts. he knew she needed that space to get back to herself. His love for her was no longer dependent on routine goodnight calls or texts. They always had the next day to be together again.
Next morning Anamika woke to a beep on her phone, a text saying "I love you anu, I finally figured the solution to your agony."
She groggily laughed to her herself , dialled his cellphone and spoke with a morning croak, " Dev, I love you too baby and what solution are you talking of? I seemed so silly yesterday, I'm sorry for being so hard on you sometimes."
"stop! It's fine and I just know what we really really need. Your mood was only a symptom of a bigger and more important decision that has been pending for long now. I know how to fix this. you trust me?"
"ofcourse I do , but what are suggesting?"
"I'm suggesting we get married. It's time to be together now, It's time to merge our time and take the next step in life. I want you completely with me, as family. "
Anamika could feel a new state of mind suddenly take over her entirely. This was what she had needed and secretly wanted and he understood. The relief she felt made her sure once again that Dev was one of the best things to have happened to her. She felt like her powerful and invincible self again. Anamika had always been driven and rooted by love.
Dev, on the other side of the city was completely unaware of the rush of emotions he was causing Anamika. It was just another day for him, home, office, a set of meetings, a chore he had to finish for dad and then hopefully back home in time. Ofcourse, anamika was there, in his life, his mind, heart, in everything he did, a fact he didn't feel the need to express all the time anymore given all the years he has been with her. He really missed her today but he was just not able to gather time to contact her and that was definitely annoying him. "Oh! she'll understand" he hoped .
The day passed, dragged for anamika, flew for Dev and by the time it was evening he picked his phone and dialled her.
"anu!"
"yes"
"you wouldn't believe the day I've had"
"Oh! I would believe, had fun??"
"Fun?! , at office?, no it was hell of a day , with all the file work i had to clear and I still have a couple of calls to finish before heading home. I couldn't even find the time to reach you"
"right, that must have been it."
"what's wrong? are you upset?"
"nah! Its fine dev, leave it"
"this isn't the first day this has happened anu, you know that."
"and this won't be the last day either Dev, I know I'm not a part of your important schedule these days"
"You ain't a part of any schedule Anu, you're a part of my life and I don't need to keep appointments for you my love."
"you and your brilliant words." Anamika was feeling defeated, guilty, anger and confusion in the same second. It was not just about this particular day, it was about a series of weeks when he was just not paying her enough attention. the current gestures weren't enough for her it seemed, the romance, the excitement, she was longing for a passion they used to have in their initial year , which she knew was still there buried somewhere below the pile of time. there was something she deeply wanted from him. something was definitely amiss.Maybe she wanted him to surprise her. Maybe Anamika wanted Dev to romance her more, get her flowers, go out of his way to meet her, bunk his office, take her for a long drive, even though such gestures were not really important to her. Her core happiness lied in something unknown, she surely wanted something but wasn't able to figure exactly what. Unless she did, how could she ask for it from Dev. she wanted to cry in confusion and pour her heart out. she wanted to ask him why she was so upset. whether this was because their relationship was old now and he had started taking her for granted. she wanted to blame him, shout at him and just walk away, but she remained silent as she held the phone for a long pause.
Dev waited silently on the other side of the line, asking her after a while to speak further. he needed to know what was she upset about, he had been noticing a cold note in her words lately. where he was going wrong? had he not been attentive enough? had be hurt her in some way? if only she would tell him. he wanted to give her everything he possibly could. Just recently he had taken her out to a lovely eating joint and spent an amazing karaoke evening with her. he always managed to make her smil, then what could it possibly be. but Dev was a rational man and he balanced the irrational anu. he knew she was so much more mature than him in so many ways but sometimes she'd get so difficult and confusing. Both of them were deeply happy with each other and both knew this, yet the recent days had brought a slight strain between them without an apparent reason.
"I'd better keep the phone down, I can't figure what to say" finally responded anamika
"Sure Anu, call me when you're ready to talk"
Anamika being the more introspective one aggressively went through her thought catalogue. she sat that night for hours staring at her bedroom walls, eating dinner silently and drinking coffee. when she had had enough for the day, she decided to sleep on it. maybe this was just a phase, all couples go through it she consoled herself. Dev had not disturbed her with any texts. he knew she needed that space to get back to herself. His love for her was no longer dependent on routine goodnight calls or texts. They always had the next day to be together again.
Next morning Anamika woke to a beep on her phone, a text saying "I love you anu, I finally figured the solution to your agony."
She groggily laughed to her herself , dialled his cellphone and spoke with a morning croak, " Dev, I love you too baby and what solution are you talking of? I seemed so silly yesterday, I'm sorry for being so hard on you sometimes."
"stop! It's fine and I just know what we really really need. Your mood was only a symptom of a bigger and more important decision that has been pending for long now. I know how to fix this. you trust me?"
"ofcourse I do , but what are suggesting?"
"I'm suggesting we get married. It's time to be together now, It's time to merge our time and take the next step in life. I want you completely with me, as family. "
Anamika could feel a new state of mind suddenly take over her entirely. This was what she had needed and secretly wanted and he understood. The relief she felt made her sure once again that Dev was one of the best things to have happened to her. She felt like her powerful and invincible self again. Anamika had always been driven and rooted by love.
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