I lie

Here it is .. right here and so real.. unabashedly real.. Is it tremendously right or is it disastrously wrong to be so real?
I am a human being and only very human .. only very human when I think.. feel.. speak or remain silent. I am aware of every thread that covers me .. of every breath taken around me.. of every sound played near me... I am as psychic as I can be yet only so human not to realize it .
Is it insane to acknowledge the truth and really remain calm or is it just pretension : both the calmness and the truth.
is it wreck-less to jump into an abyss imagining you'll find a parachute on your fall down or is it only human faith.. faith in growing wings if not a parachute..
Does it not hammer your brain out when all you have got is this.. right here..this and nothing more .. nothing.. yet those longing human sighs!
Lies..innumerable lies . they push you to believe they don't need to exist.. they ask you to move away and find a true lie.. you cannot extend your arm and reach out to emptiness..yet those arms remain outstretched.. why? endless Hope??
I can refuse and I can loathe..with the power to pick a rotten apple and throw..But I don't , allowing it to rot me along..then shamelessly complain how I try to glitter and fail to shine..how desperate.. my need to fit into humankind..
I know right.. I know wrong.. I know who I am .. yet I avoid really becoming a whole.. yet ironically pray to enlighten my untouched unknown soul...
I am living I am dying I am laughing I am crying.. I am everything a human can choose not to be.. yet only so human not wanting to set free..