Acceptance

When we love, we give birth to tremendous pain. Nothing remains constant in this world , the only truth that remains constant is the pain of loss,of failure,of defeat, of death. Nobody has asked us to go through life in any certain way, the wise human did not take birth with a rule book in hand, no one asked us to create relationships in our surroundings, because even nature knows that with the creation of a bond comes the ultimate truth of its inevitable end, if not today then one day. Yet with time our species evolved into a nurturing kind, the kind with an unusual attachment to their surroundings,today we build families, live in community, provide and care for the ones near us, we let them become our dear ones, we love, love and love and yet we fear loss of the same love all the time, ALL THE TIME! Does that mean that we should not love at all? Something constantly pushes us to feel, and to care no matter at what cost.... When I first came to life, I entered into a pool relationships that had existed much before I did, I became a daughter, a grand-daughter, a sister, a niece, I became so many things without even asking, and I felt a natural urge to care and to nurture these relationships as I grew up.With more time, I became a friend, a neighbour, a lover and so much more  and with that, the emotions , the love, the belonging, only adding as I go on.. and there exists this soft fear, a natural fear that would never go, this fear that keeps me so strongly attached to my people...

So if I lose any one of these relationships I cry, my heart breaks, It pains. Can I put an end to this pain somehow? I can if I break away from these relationships.The only way out is leaving everything behind and go away in pilgrimage, become a saint, give up from the material world and live like the soul without boundaries, without relationships. If I can do that, I may not suffer from pain, but there again is a doubt that I may. 

Sometimes when we lose a dear one to death, we feel it is the end, that we had never asked for it, we never wanted this to happen and that we should not be going through something so horrible, but we forget that the day we started to bond with that person we took on a truth alongside, an ugly truth, that every beginning has an end, every sentence has a finish, every dawn has a dusk,every win brings something to lose and by giving birth to love,we give birth to pain. It aches to come to terms with an absence,with a sudden withdrawal of life and no matter how much we try,one does not have power over the cycle of life and destiny.. yes.. its overwhelming..

If I have chosen to live a full life, full of dreams, ambitions, plans, relationships then I will have to accept  that we have to go through this life with our entire body, heart and soul ,out of the blue we may at times lose what is most precious to us, but we must be ready to go through that pain of separation,we must accept the fear of loss,acceptance is the word. Till the day I am alive I wish to live as much as I can, I will laugh, smile, cry, worry, care, dream, feel, think, plan, prepare and so on...

Above all I wish to love with all my heart, with an aching and fearful heart, with a strong and fearless heart , holding an understanding with nature that when we love,we surely give birth to pain.